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This is an ongoing content series on the current EAN website. We have set it up again here so you can continue to use it (if you like.)
Q. My employee has been found sleeping at his desk several times. I am going to arrange a formal confrontation with him today. My question is, should I ask him to see his doctor, or refer him to the EAP? This must be some sort of medical or sleep disorder sort of problem.
A. You should refer your employee to the EAP. It’s the approved resource recognized by your organization, and any other recommendation or referral by you to another source of help would be fraught with potential problems. Notice how mulling over the proper resource for your employee entails some diagnostic thinking. This is what supervisors are asked to avoid as they consider what’s best in helping employees resolve performance or conduct problems. Sleeping at one’s desk could be explained by a medical problem but also by a dozen other issues. Even if this problem is directly caused by a medical condition, referral to the EAP offers the employee and the organization significant advantages. For example, the EAP role will improve communication with the medical provider, perform follow-up, and help address any problems in the employee’s life secondary to the sleep disorder. This makes it more likely the primary condition would be successfully treated and the employee will return to satisfactory performance.
Q.I have been a manager for over 20 years, but one thing that bothers me the most is gossip and office politics. It’s a difficult thing to manage because you can’t catch conversations involving gossip, and one can’t read employees’ minds. What else can a supervisor do?
A. Gossiping and office politics may be hard to control, but worse, this behavior can undermine a positive workplace. It can also interfere with your supervisor authority, decisions, and leadership responsibilities. Don’t be passive. Be sure to model appropriate behavior, not participate in those behaviors you seek to curtail. Employees do respond to role modeling. Let employees know what you want and expect from them regarding conduct and other behavioral issues. At least once, gather your employees and address the importance of respectful communication and discourage gossip and negative politics. Also, be sure employees feel they can safely come to you with concerns, ideas, and feedback. The inability to do so often fuels workplace divisiveness. When you spot inappropriate behavior associated with negative communication, always address it right away. This also has a strong dampening effect. Talk to the EAP about education, awareness, and respectful communication resources.
Q. If there is one thing I dread, it’s an employee coming to my office to tell me without warning that he or she has decided to quit. What can supervisors do to reduce the likelihood of employees suddenly quitting? Any way to be proactive with this issue?
A. Not every decision to quit a job is preventable, because many employees have paths for their careers where opportunities emerge and decisionsto leave are compelling. Still, the supervisor can influence a work environment to maximize a worker’s desire to stay. To reduce being surprised by resigning employees, try scheduling one-on-one meetings with employees so you can provide them feedback and discuss special concerns, understand their goals, and get a feel for how to best meet their needs. These meetings can be short “check-ins” that still give you the information you seek. Typically, employees interested in quitting a job show reduced engagement or verbalize dissatisfaction. Pay attention to these signals so you can address them dissatisfaction. Pay attention to these signals so you can address them quickly. There are many things managers can do to create workplaces conducive to employees staying in place for longer periods of time, but the communication model described above will lead you to discover most of them.
Q. I attempted to refer my employee to the EAP, but he insisted on going to a private therapist, believing he knew more about his problems than the EAP did and that an assessment would be a waste of time. He asked for approval, but I did not give it. What’s next?
A. It would be inappropriate, of course, to approve or disapprove of your employee’s decision to self-refer to a private therapist. You should only say the EAP resource is your recommendation. The employee assistance program exists to help employees with personal problems or concerns by way of self-referral or a supervisor referral; however, the process is voluntary. In this instance, you won’t have the benefit of knowing whether the employee went to see a private therapist in the community or has a signed release confirming participation in any treatment recommendations. For now, focus on job performance. Perhaps it will improve, and this would conclude the history of problems you’ve experienced. However, if problems return, consider appropriate action consistent with your organization’s policies and procedures. This might entail revisiting a formal supervisor referral of your employee to the EAP along with new motivation to attend.
Q. I have noticed over the years that employees almost universally think that the supervisor is “out to get them” or is “targeting them” when disciplinary actions are implemented. Hardly ever do they admit that their performance or conduct warranted actions taken. What explains this?
A. When employees face disciplinary actions, they naturally feel defensive. Feeling targeted or unfairly pursued by the supervisor helps protect the employee’s ego and deflects responsibility and ownership for the behavior. It would be rare indeed for an employee to purposely do a poor job and then expect adverse consequences for it. Disciplinary actions therefore trigger strong emotions, including fear, and the need to search for someone to blame. This is particularly true if the employee knows of others with the same problem but they are not similarly held responsible. Also, it’s possible an employee may lack self-awareness. Without self-awareness, it is tough to accept responsibility for performance issues. Employee defensiveness can make constructive confrontations difficult, but this is a good reason for supervisors to consult with the EAP so they can have assistance in formulating the right approach to confronting employees based on the circumstances.
Q. Can anyone be taught to be a good supervisor or do some personality or temperament issues impede being an effective supervisor?
A. Supervisory skills are teachable; however, some people may possess natural abilities, qualities of personality, or temperament that facilitate a supervisory or leadership role. This does not mean others aren’t teachable. A person may struggle to be an effective supervisor if they lack a well-developed sense of empathy. Empathy is associated with a broad range of important capabilities, such as emotional intelligence (EI). EI is the ability to recognize and manage one’s own emotions and those of others. But empathy goes much further. It is crucial, for example, in facilitating active listening and understanding. When people feel heard and understood, they are more likely to express themselves honestly. They feel safer with the authority figure, and this leads to better dialogue, problem-solving, and conflict resolution within the relationship. Supervisors have a great resource in their EAP to help them develop many soft skills associated with leadership and communication.
Q. We’ve all heard the respect is earned line; difficult employees often use it as a snarky come back. As a supervisor, what do I say to an employee who acts inappropriately and tells me respect is earned, using an inappropriate tone of voice?
A. It may be aggravating to hear this remark when supervising an employee. Typically, it is considered an inappropriate challenge to your authority, not a benign comment. Regardless, it’s important to handle the situation with professionalism and assertiveness. An oversight with employees who use this remark is that although respect is earned, it is a two-way street. Your goal should not be to “outsmart” the employee, however. An appropriate response might be, “As your supervisor, it’s my responsibility to ensure a respectful and productive work environment for everyone. Respect is indeed earned, and it is a two-way street. It is important that we maintain professionalism and treat each other with respect in our interactions. So, let’s find a way to address concerns together and create a positive and productive work environment for everyone involved.” As a side note, documentable concerns with this sort of interaction might be, “Lack of professional demeanor”; “Not demonstrating a respectful attitude”; or “Using a tone of voice that communicates a contentious attitude.”
Q. People sometimes say I am a workaholic. I don’t think so. Sure, I work a lot, but I don’t think only the number of hours worked should result in being classified a worka-holic. I think other people feel uncomfortable because they don’t work enough. Also, I am very dedicated to the company.
A. If your health, well-being, and the relationships in your life are not adversely affected by the number of hours you work, then it is unlikely that you suffer from workaholism (also known as addiction to work).Ask yourself if any of the following are true: 1) Are you preoccupied with work-related thoughts, even outside of work hours? 2) Do you find it difficult to establish boundaries between work and personal life? 3) Beyond working a lot of hours, do you have a compulsive need to do so? (Generally, this means having an irresistible urge or impulse to work.) 4) Do you continue to work despite its negative effect on your health from people you have strained relationships with because of overwork? 5) If you try to relax, is it difficult due to anxiety and restlessness because you are not working? Talk to the EAP if any of these answers are “yes."
Q. A concern that reduces my assertiveness as a supervisor is having to make some decision that is not popular and reaping the animosity, hearing arguments against the decision that I can’t defend, and seeing it affect morale negatively. How can I let go of this worry or fear?
A. The fear of making an unpopular decision is virtually unavoidable, and all supervisors must face this challenge to be effective. You can let go of it by: 1) Reminding yourself that your primary responsibility is to make decisions that align with the goals of the organization. If you primarily fear not being liked by subordinates, then these two goals will naturally conflict. 2)Frequently involving team members and seeking their input and feedback regarding decisions. This inclusive approach can help you gather different perspectives and dramatically reduce conflict later. Also, it is at this stage where you should communicate your rationale for a decision, not later when staff are reacting adversely to it. 3) Establishing a work environment that enables communication to flow easily. When conflict arises, even from your decisions, tension will be reduced more quickly. 4) Building a relationship of trust with your employees. Doing so will also reduce animosity and objections to the important decisions you make. Likewise, do not be a supervisor who stays behind closed doors.
Q. I got into an argument with my employee and believed his body language indicated he would strike me. It didn’t happen, and there’s nothing to prove he would, but I documented the incident. What else should I have done?
A. When you perceive a potential threat from an employee during an argument, it’s important to prioritize your safety and take appropriate steps to address the incident. Firstly, remove yourself from the situation—and find a safe place away from the employee. You documented this incident, great. Make sure you include the date, time, location, what was said, and a detailed description of the employee’s actions. Be objective by focusing on observable facts. For example, “Both arms were trembling, he had clenched fists, and he leaned into my personal space. ”Avoid assumptions and interpretations in documentation because it can undermine your goal of addressing the behavior effectively. For example, “He was acting insane in our argument”; or “His rebellious nature is a problem for everyone in the work unit.”
FrontLineSupervisor is for general informational purposes only and is notintended to be specific guidance for any particular supervisor or human resourcemanagement concern. For specific guidance on handling individual employeeproblems, consult with your EA professional. ©2023 DFA Publishing & Consulting, LLC. Gender use in FrontlineSupervisor content is strictly random.
